http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com While choosing personal pain over public shame is certainly a human enough choice, it’s one no one should continue to make once the cost of that trade becomes too consistently oppressive. Eventually, it’s just not worth it. If the fire in your house is between you and your clothes, sooner or later you must run out of your house naked. Emergencies prioritize needs, every time.If you’re a woman who’s beginning to question whether the natural and understandable kinds of fears I wrote about in my last post are worth what it’s costing you to remain in a bad/abusive relationship, consider the following two points... http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=54396&columnid=3129 Mon, 23 Feb 2009 00:00:00 -0400 Today we’ll consider as a factor that often contributes to women continuing in relationships they should leave: the natural desire not to be publicly embarrassed.The bottom line is that no one likes having their dirty laundry aired in public. But if you’re a woman who is considering breaking up with your husband (or a man with whom you’ve been in a long-term relationship) because he is emotionally or physically abusive to you, then part of what you’re facing is knowing that carrying through with that break-up means that a lot of people who know you are going to know a lot more about you than it’s likely you ever wanted them to. http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=54395&columnid=3129 Mon, 23 Feb 2009 00:00:00 -0400 From Christian author John Shore: The additional thing I wanted to say about the fact that oftentimes bad men use the love of their women as tools against their women is that the reason bad men do this is because all men, to a degree lots of women have all kinds of good reasons not to fully appreciate, want power. A healthy man exercises his drive for power to the benefit of The Good. An unhealthy man couldn’t care less about what’s good. http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=54337&columnid=3129 Fri, 20 Feb 2009 00:00:00 -0400 From Christian author John Shore: I want to address something that’s come up via some letters I’ve lately received from women in bad relationships.Many of these letters communicated this: “I know I should get out of the bad relationship I’m in—but right now I’m just not strong enough to make the break. For reasons I’m helpless to understand, I’m still too emotionally tied to this man that I know is no good for me.” http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=54336&columnid=3129 Fri, 20 Feb 2009 00:00:00 -0400 Last time we identified four fears that often keep women in bad relationships: * “Things could always get worse”; * “I’ve never been alone”; * “Will I ever find another man?”; and * finally, “I’ll have no money.”So let’s take those one by one, and see if we can’t strip them of their power... http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=54293&columnid=3129 Wed, 18 Feb 2009 00:00:00 -0400 Restless.Frustrated.Frustrated with Myself.I did it again.Like a crack addict addicted to crack,I am addicted to myself.Seeking quick fixes.Temporary highs with devastating lows.Trying to satisfy the lust of my flesh,With solo trips,With solo voyages,In darkness.Read the full poem from Passion for Christ Movement... http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=54076&columnid=3129 Thu, 12 Feb 2009 00:00:00 -0400 This is tough question to answer - Is it good for Christians to have close friendships with unbelievers. So, as you read the following response from Bible Q&A site GotQuestions.org, try to keep an open mind about what's being said and definitely be sure to read the article all the way through. http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=54075&columnid=3129 Thu, 12 Feb 2009 00:00:00 -0400 A lot of us have read books on courtship, dating, relationships, etc. We may know what we want to look for in a future husband or wife, and we may even think we know that person right now. It's good to know what to look for and use wisdom in this area (I wish I had more wisdom in this area), but I want to encourage you to add something else to your repertoire.Praying for your future spouse will be a blessed experience. http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=54074&columnid=3129 Thu, 12 Feb 2009 00:00:00 -0400 The spot began with women’s voices talking about the definition of modesty—modesty is being out of style, modesty is old-fashioned—and then the voice of the woman who leads this particular ministry came on, and she began to talk about the true benefits of modesty. The longer I listened the more my jaw dropped. Modesty will protect me?! It’s my responsibility to dress modestly so that creepy men won’t try to ply me with their advances? http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=53977&columnid=3129 Mon, 9 Feb 2009 00:00:00 -0400 From Christian author John Shore:If you saw yourself in the description of a woman who stays in a bad relationship because she’s resistant to changing her self-image from Healing Nurturer to Selfless Terminator, then it is absolutely vital for you to understand that the least healing and nurturing thing you can do for yourself and the people you love is to remain in a bad relationship.There’s virtually nothing you can do that’s more healing to yourself and those around you than to once and for all kick a bad man out of your life.Here are some reasons that’s true... http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=53976&columnid=3129 Mon, 9 Feb 2009 00:00:00 -0400 You know how there are ten million sites and articles with everything you need to know about how relationships?Well I stumbled upon one such list, with 75 (yes, 75!) lessons.So I've copied 12 of them that seemed like they could be in line with Christian principles. (well, most of them seem like that, others were just really good points...) http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=53862&columnid=3129 Thu, 5 Feb 2009 00:00:00 -0400 Another one from that amazing Christian author John Shore:You know how when your driver’s license expires, you put off going to the DMV for so long you end up on “America’s Most Procrastinating”? And why do you so resist getting a new I.D.? Because, pleasant-wise, it ranks right up there with getting your hair caught in an egg beater.And that’s just getting a new card identifying who you are. How much more painful is it to acquire an actual new identify? http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=53861&columnid=3129 Thu, 5 Feb 2009 00:00:00 -0400 From Christian author John Shore:Though I may not write them in exactly this order, those seven reasons will be... http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=53860&columnid=3129 Thu, 5 Feb 2009 00:00:00 -0400 The hospitality we offer to friends is not about making an impression, but about making them feel loved. So often when I prepare for people to be in my home, I spend all of my time cleaning the house, preparing a perfect meal and making everything and everyone appear just right. But do I take a moment to pray for our guests? Do I ask God to reveal to me any needs they might have so that our family might have the opportunity to minister to them? Not usually. http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=53649&columnid=3129 Thu, 29 Jan 2009 00:00:00 -0400 One of the most vital parts of mental environment is a healthy idea of who we are sexually. If these ideas are polluted, a critical part of who we are becomes twisted. http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=49869&columnid=3129 Mon, 13 Mar 2006 00:00:00 -0400 A reader from Christian website Crosswalk.com:I am a middle-aged woman and a strong follower of Christ. While I know that some of my flirtatious behavior at times is totally wrong, God give us the desire to be sexual and I believe being flirtatious is okay. How does a woman let a man know that she is interested in him and not cause lust?Crosswalk.com Contributing Editor Laura MacCorkle responds... http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=53190&columnid=3129 Thu, 15 Jan 2009 00:00:00 -0400 Have you been struggling with forgiving someone?Wonder how you're doing?Take this self-test on forgiveness.It scores your desire for revenge, freedom from obsession, ability to affirm the person who wronged you and some other areas too. http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=53157&columnid=3129 Tue, 13 Jan 2009 00:00:00 -0400 From Today's Christian Woman:forgiving: 1. inclined or able to forgive. 2. Providing a margin for error or shortcomings.“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Father forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)It wasn’t right. Your friend shared something you told her in confidence. Your husband wasn’t completely honest with you about your finances. Your coworker claimed one of your great ideas as her own.You’re still holding a grudge. And who could blame you? It wasn’t right.But . . .We serve a God who calls us to forgive. http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=53156&columnid=3129 Tue, 13 Jan 2009 00:00:00 -0400 At some point in any relationship, regardless of the type (friends, family, dating, etc), there will be an argument (or disagreement, if you'd prefer) about something.Most of the time, getting through these disagreements will be perfectly simple - e.g. we'll go where you want to go now, i really don't care that much.But sometimes, the resolution is so very far from simple. Maybe you're deciding how many kids you want to have, or how to handle a loved one's funeral, or some other issue that's really serious and personal to both people involved, so no one wants to "let the other person win".What do we do in these situations? http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=53101&columnid=3129 Mon, 12 Jan 2009 00:00:00 -0400 There was a young woman who fully believed her breathtaking attractiveness was anything but a man-magnet -- as one might expect. Instead, she said, her beauty acted as a Romeo-repellant, causing suitors to run screaming from her. Obviously, I explained the situation to her (perhaps it wasn't her gorgeous outsides, but her narcissistic insides that were doing the damage), but it did get me to thinking about all the other ridiculous reasons that women -- myself included -- come up with when they get dumped.Along with being too beautiful, here are a few other qualities I guarantee nobody will ever break your heart over. http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=52972&columnid=3129 Wed, 7 Jan 2009 00:00:00 -0400 "Hey girl, pray for me. I've been going through a bunch of stuff and I'm just tired right now...""Oh, I'm sorry to hear that honey. I'm gonna pray for you. ...No wait, you wanna stop and pray now?"This doesn't have to be a scary or unrealistic scenario.There is power in praying with others, not just for them. Especially with non-believers. http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=52709&columnid=3129 Wed, 31 Dec 2008 00:00:00 -0400 Ruby Bridges was just six years old when in 1960 she stood before a judge who ordered her to go to first grade in the William Franz Elementary School. http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=13908&columnid=3129 Wed, 28 Sep 2005 00:00:00 -0400 Usually people get engaged and then go to pre-marital counseling, but at that point, it's not really likely that they'll change their minds about getting married ... cuz everybody already knows, you already bought the ring, and maybe even already started planning the wedding.You've reached a point of no return... So, you're hoping that pre-marital counseling will just confirm your decision to get married.But going through counseling shouldn't be about confirming a decision. It should be about helping to make the decision.So, why not go through pre-engagement counseling? http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=52424&columnid=3129 Fri, 19 Dec 2008 00:00:00 -0400 quick relationship advice for guys and ladies http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=52299&columnid=3129 Tue, 16 Dec 2008 00:00:00 -0400 From Christian Relationship Advisor Kenny Pugh:-- For the Men -- A woman is interested in connecting with someone who has vision. In order to be an effective household leader, you have to know where you are going, or be connected to the One who can lead you there.-- For the Women -- A man needs someone who can come alongside of him in order to achieve a greater purpose. Bring your God-given skills and talents to the table and allow them to be used to accomplish God-sized successes in your relationship.-- For Both -- Relationships are meant for two individuals who complement one another and not conflict with each other. Continue developing yourself so you can be the best you can be in all aspects of your relationship! http://www.notyourmamasreligion.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=52230&columnid=3129 Sat, 13 Dec 2008 00:00:00 -0400